The long Hunt (Open RP)

[Hobos revenge]

(character- Beogrand, Tauren hunter, male)




Beogrand looked at the dead raptor at his hooves... it had been a good day.

Carefully he reslung his bow and unsheathed a large axe

the raptor had taken considerable time to kill. The shear joy of being able to kill it was a reward.

He kneeled down to sever the raptors head. The golden sun gave the shining affect on Beogrands brown hair (Fur?)

Just as he raised his axe he heared a sound like a gun being loaded.....

(please, if you are going to make fun of this thread, o it in another thread)

[Nork]

Nork, Gnome Warlock ---- Manimal, Night Elf Hunter

Nork and Manimal watched intently at the Tauren. His brown fur! rippled and wavered as he launched arrow after arrow at the Raptor. They sat silent, waiting for the Tauren to finish its kill before they would challenge it.

After a long fight, the Raptor finally hit the ground and the Tauren pulled out its gigantic axe.

'Now manimal' Nork wisperd to the Elf.

Manimal pulle out his Arcanite Boomstick, with its sniper scope mounted on top and begun to load it with a poisened shot. Nork had always found it amuseing to find a Night Elf with a gun. But he was just as skilled with it, as any other Elf was with a bow. As he cocked the rifle, the Tauren turned and stared at the pair. Curiosity more than fear, awashed his face, though Nork could never tell what emotions any tauren displayed, except when they are angery.

[Hobos revenge]

The Alliance…. Beogrand thought

He had sensed them, rather then hearing them. He stood dead still. One was a night elf.. With a gun. The other was a small gnome with a stick. The night elf looked like the type that had some experience with a gun, but was likely to shoot himself in the foot. The gnome looked like he was trying to be menacing but really looked as threatening as a baby kodo. But Beogrand sensed something was near the Gnome, a dark and evil presence.

This should be good, Beogrand thought.

Just to be safe, Beogrand un holstered his bow. It was a good bow. He took it of a dead Sentinel up at warsong gulch when the warbringer Gulgar had conscripted him. Its dark brown wood was etched with mysterious runes. It had the ability to impale multiple targets. The only annoying thing was try to find and retrieve the arrow.

If they thought he was easy prey, they were in for a big surprise…..

[Nork]

Nork and manimal stood there and stared harshly at the Tauren. Nork tried to look as menacing as possible, but Gnomes cant look menacing, even to other Gnomes. The Tauren stood a clear 10 feet or so clear of Norks 3 foot stature. But Nork was not scared of such a beast. He had fought other, more terryfiying creatures than these bulls. With his Staff of Jordan held out in front of him, he begun to summon the Shadow's to aid him in this battle.

Manimal almost stood eye to eye with the Tauren, though he fell short by mere inches of the Taurens full hight. His Snowsaber, that he called, Snowy, appeared out of the bushies from where they had came, lowered its head and growled at the Bull. Manimal did not faulter, he maintained his aim at the Heart of the Tauren, as the creature, un-pretirbed by the situation, in turn, drew its own weapon.

The bow that it drew out, was an ornate piece of work. Runes etched along its bower and the Draw was made out of fine Dryad hair, resiliant, but flexable all the same. It showed true craftsmanship of the bowyers of Teldrassil. used mainly by the Sentinals, all accross the Night Elven lands. Manimal looked on in shock and lowerd his weapon. Seeing a Tauren useing a bow was surpriseing enough, people thought they did not have the dexterity to use one, but to see one in possesion of a Sentinals bow, deemed respect from all. Manimal took a risk and shouldered his weapon and gave Nork a kick to do the same. Manimal tried to speak the best tauranise he could.

'Me Manimal...this' he pointed to Nork 'is friend, Nork, i am his guide...we are lost...here' Waveing his hand around the surrounding forest. 'we mean no harm' Manimal raised his hands to show they were clear.

Nork, looked at the Elf as he spoke a language he could not understand and was perplexed by the situation.

[Hobos revenge]

the elves Taurehe was pathetic. Yet he should be commended for his efforts.
Beogrand decided he should be the least bit friendly to the interlopers, after all, he did not want to fight.

"greetings, how may i assist?" Beogrand said haughtily.

The Elf looked mystifyed

Great...... this was going to be a long after noon

[Nork]

The Tauren lowered its weapon, Manimal and Nork let out a sigh of relief. The Tauren begun to speak in its native tounge and Nork looked at manimal for a translation.

'What did it say Mani?'

Manimal looked confused and thought hard at what the Tauren was saying. He had not learnt alot, the little he did know was from Samatha, a tauren that walked the paths in Strangle Thorn, but she had only little time to teach him anything.

'I have no idea, but i think he said something along the lines of "where is my breakfast" i hounestly dont know what he said' Manimal said scratching his head in thought.

'We...are...lost' exclaimed Manimal 'do..you..know...where...we...are?'

Manimals Taurenese was really poor, he just hoped the Tauren would recognise the important words.

you might be woundering how an Elf, claiming to be a guide, could get lost. Well simply put, a Goblin got them lost. Nork, with his fresh new Goblin Engineering membership card, thought he would help out one of the Goblins with some sort of portal device, down in Gadetzan. Well neither Goblins or Gnomes are well renowned for the machines that actually work. upon stepping into the portal, they found themselves, some where and have been woundering around, trying to find where they had ended up for some time.

[FeBus]

((Character-Tuscant,Blood elf Hunter))

As Tuscant awoke almost 50 feet in the air taking shelter in a large tree. That had a decent sized hole in the side. But when he woke he heard the voice of a Tauren bellow him. He peered down and saw a gnome and a night elf about to strike the Tauren down. He summoned his pet Shill and aimed his bow down at the gnome...The Shot missed horribly the Gnome and the night elf didnt seem to notice so he loaded another shot fired and immediatly jumped out of the tree... as he fell through the air he unsheathed his Two handed Blade...little did he know they were not even fighting:starry:

[B Da T]

character: dead raptor

the dead raptor lied dead on the ground. he said to himself, "I wish i was still alive, being dead is boring." With that wish God struck lightning into his heart and awoken him from death.

"YES! now i am alive again. Whats this? I have been granted super powers! I can create vampires from beyond the grave! But first i must destroy the creature that killed me."

The magical raptor from beyond the grave summoned his vampire army before the Tauren.

[T Da B]

(character: pile of kodo droppings/vampire leader)

A innocent pile of kodo droppings not too far away from the action was caught up in the raptor's spell. It was mystically transformed into the leader of the vampires.

"Hooray, my life as a pile of faccaes is over. Now I will randomly kill all who stand in the way of my master, the raptor!" The vampire leader summoned a swarm of faccaes bats to attack everything in their path, their sights focused on the Tauren...

[B Da T]

the raptor stood triumphantly.
"No longer will i be a useless raptor, I am now one of the most powerful magic reptiles this world has ever known! I shall be forever known as Lord Hypnos!"
He watched his army of 69 vampires march towards his enemy. He watched in amazement at his vampire leader, made out of faccaes. He was beautiful, horrific, made from the brown waste created by living creatures. This vampire was much more powerful than the others. He could summon vampiric bats made of faccaes.

[T Da B]

"Muhahaha attack my pretties! We shall not disappoint Lord Hypnos!" With a wave of his finger the army of vampires started to slash at anything live or dead.

During the whole event the vampire leader could not help but think, I'm a living pile of waste. I must really smell bad. And can I eat stuff? Is living faccaes actually living in the first place and can it be killed? Lord Hypnos will hold these answers.

Soon their surroundings were covered in faccaes and smelt like Tuscant's underpants. It gave the vampires and Lord Hypnos the upper hand now.

[B Da T]

Lord Hypnos stepped slowly towards Beogrand, the hunter that killed him.
"I must thank you, I have been granted powers greater than i could imagine. Here is your thanks." Lord Hypnos grabbed Beogrands bow and shoved it violently up his urethra. Lord Hypnos looked at the small warlock. Quickly and fearfully the pathetic creature summoned a succubus to protect himself. Lord Hypnos smiled mischeivously as he engaged in non-consentual sex (or rape if you will) with the succubus. Then he spurted fire from his mouth, burning the gnome to a crisp.
"I am more powerful than I previously thought..."
The night elf and blood elf hunters had already started running in cowardice. Lord Hypnos sent his army of 69 vampires (not including their Faccaes leader) after them. The vampires were much quicker than the elves and caught them easily. They were bled dry and left outside Crossroads dead on the path.

[T Da B]

The vampire leader grinned at Lord Hypnos. "Excellent idea sir, now their souls will have to endure The Barrens chat for all eternity, I hope they like Chuck Norris jokes! Muhahahahaha!" The vampire leader was soon told to shut up and that he wasn't funny by one of his fellow minions so he defecated on that vampire's head.

"Lord Hypnos, what is next for us? What does our lives as animated vampiric faccaes behold for us?" The vampire leader looked at all the dead bodies and new he was one the right side of Lord Hypnos. Now he knew why he and his fellow vampires obeyed a previously dead raptor with a sexual attraction to demon ladies. His powers seemed like nothing compared to the might that was Lord Hypnos.

The vampire leader thought about what power they could achieve if they followed Lord Hypnos and the possibilities he opened for him. This raptor was not to be taken lightly. And to think he was once killed by a Tauren with a bow. "Sir I have a suggestion, we shall defacate in the mailbox at the Crossroads and then make our way south to Thousand Needles, muhahahaha prickly."

[B Da T]

"Cease foul creature! I have thought of something...have you heard of the place Un'Goro Crater?

[T Da B]

"Yes sir, isn't that where the most powerful or prehistoric creatures abode?"

[T Da B]

of not or*

[B Da T]

"Yes indeed it is. Among them, although is a creature called Devilsaur. Have you heard of him?"

[T Da B]

"No." Said the vampire leader.

[B Da T]

"He is the most powerful creature in Un'Goro Crater. A giant reptile, white, furious, kills things on sight. He is actually my Great Uncle. I no longer have any fear of him. Do you have any idea what my plan is?" Lord Hypnos asked.

[T Da B]

"No," said the vampire leader.

[B Da T]

"Have I told you that I am a necrofeliac?" Hypnos asked inquisitvely.

[T Da B]

"What is that, sir?"

[B Da T]

"Unfortunately I was born with urges I cannot control. I have a sexual attraction do dead bodies. So cold...so helpless. I will drain that horrible creature of its blood, and take its power. Then I shall reproduce, using my genitalia and some good old fashion sodomy. Inside his dead body a young litter of creatures will grow. I shall create a race of powerful raptors...we will be the most powerful alliance in Azeroth.

[T Da B]

"Hooray!!"

[B Da T]

"Now follow me, infernal creatures. We make towards Thousand Needles!" Lord Hypnos said as we starts walking in the direction Thousand Needles is.

[B Da T]

ooc. im really glad those other characters are dead they were making the story so farfetched and stupid.

[T Da B]

The vampires drifted after Lord Hypnos. "Has it ever occured to you that I smell like a kodo's bottom?" The vampire leader asked Lord Hypnos.

[B Da T]

"Yes...I didn't want to be rude though. Also I happen to be well aquainted with the smell of bottom."

[B Da T]

ooc. while on the topic of bottoms, mine is really hurting.

[T Da B]

"Ok then."

[T Da B]

ooc: My balls are itchy and red

[B Da T]

ooc. Mine are yellow but I'm of Korean origin.

[T Da B]

ooc: Oh I know, they taste like soy sauce.

[B Da T]

now that was uncalled for

[B Da T]

ooc. oops that was ooc. before :)

[T Da B]

ooc: So was that stripper!

[B Da T]

ooc. cmon man 15 is a milestone. I didn't know it was a man.

[T Da B]

ooc: It was your dad, bloody hell!

[B Da T]

ooc. OMG! I didn't know that either!

[T Da B]

ooc: You should, he's been your lover for 5 years!

[B Da T]

ooc. now that was unkind and personal...k back to RPG

(New Character- Narrator)
They headed towards Thousand Needles, killing and raping all that stood in their way. Eventually they reached it. The giant pillars sticking out of the ground...
"Finally we are here. We follow a straight path from here into the deserts of the Shimmering Flats. Oh and for future reference don't eat anything with many vitamins, like fruit you will go runny."

[T Da B]

"Well we need to drink something otherwise we will go all hard and grey...just like granpa." The vampire leader conjured himself a bottle of PUMP water and squirted it over himself and his vampire comapnions to help moisten themselves. they continued to follow Lord Hypnos as he lead the way through Thousand Needles.

[B Da T]

"Ah...Thousand Needles. My Ex-Lover was a wyvern. The nest is nearby here if you wanna get some poontang," Lord Hypnos suggested.

[T Da B]

So the army of vampires charged off and gang banged the fat wyvern who used to lie on top of the raptor every night at 6 and still has the videos to prove it.

"Boy, this is good poon, Lord Hypnos, but shouldn't we be looking for ultimate power....then use that ultimate power to get poon?" The vampire leader asked his mighty and horny master.

[B Da T]

"You must learn, young faccaes...poontang is a very powerful weapon."

[T Da B]

"What about Chuck Norris? He's poontang's right hand man!"

[B Da T]

"I have been in Chuck Norris' bed enough to know what his poontang is like...now my army, we must continue our travels."

[T Da B]

"Ah yes, sir. We must head off to Shimmering Flats to get us some gnome poontang!"

[B Da T]

"What are you some kind of freak?!?! Goblin poontang is so much better!" Lord Hypnos exclaimed.

[T Da B]

"Oh sorry, sir. Anyways let's go....where did we park?"

Narrator 2: And so Lord Hypnos and his army of vampires drove through Thousand Needles in their pimped out car and getting looks from all the lady wyrven.

[B Da T]

(New Character-Drunk narrator)
So...it kinda sucks for em...they're car broke down...not far from the shimmering flats. I'm sobre enough to know...they will be walking through the flats.

"Looks like we're going to be walking," Lord Hypnos replied. So they traveled until finally reaching the Shimmering Flats. The sight took their breath away. The ground was flat and shimmering, as the name may have implied. They walked through, slaughtering any basilisks or scorpids that attacked them...in fact one of the scorpids was a total M.I.L.F! Finally they reached Tanaris. It was similar to the Shimmering Flats, only it wasn't as flat or shimmery. They spotted Gadgetzen, kinda weird looking...but anything looks weird with WoW cartoony 3D graphics. They approached a goblin mechanic.
"Goblin, i need you to fix my car!"
"I'm very sorry but we don't serve raptors since the raptor poontang campaign that occured a few years ago."
Lord Hypnos coughed distractingly. Faccaes vampire who needs a name soon looked at him.
"I was young and impulsive," Lord Hypnos said with a blush...well as much of a blush as a raptor can get. "I see then," he said, directed this time to the goblin. "We will have to work on that." Lord Hypnos then shape shifted into a human. "Will you serve me now?"
(ooc. sorry about this dude)
"I didn't know you could shape-shift!" Faccaes vampire said.
"I just found out myself," Lord Hypnos replied.
The goblin was shocked by this and stuttered, "Of course sir, your pimpmobile will be waiting here running for you in no time." The goblin jumped onto a gnome mechanic raptor mount (epic, he was in a hurry) and rode into the direction of the car.

[T Da B]

Faccaes vampire who needed a name turned to the shapeshifted Lord Hypnos. "My name is Markus Turdius and could you please transform into Pamela Anderson's chest?" All the other vampires nodded in agreement at Markus Turdius' (or Skid Marks as his friends called him) idea.

[B Da T]

"Dead or alive?" Lord Hypnos asked.

[T Da B]

"Dead, gosh!"

[B Da T]

"Oh well then of course!" Lord Hypnos said as he morphed into the perfect breats of Pamela Anderson.

[T Da B]

The goblin engineer came back to Markus Turdius and Lord Hypnos with a well repaired pimpmobile and a screw driver in his pants. "Lord Hypnos, transform into your normal form and get us some poon and drugs. I hear they are prostituting Mrs. Fizzlespits at the Auction House.

Narrator: And so they bought out some prostitutes and Markus Turdius found himself in a drug den.

"This is the finest peacebloom pot you've ever tried," exclaimed the goblin junkie.
"Does it cost much?" Markus Turdius asked.
"Not at all," assured the goblin.
"Does it hurt?" quizzed Markus Turdius.
"No," answered the goblin.
"What if I shoved it up my ass?" Markus Turdius inquired.
"..."
"I'll take it!" Markus Turdius stated.

[B Da T]

Narrator (One of the sobre ones): Meanwhile, as Markus Turdius was buying the peacebloom, Lord Hypnos had his hands full picking the hos...literally.
"Hmm yes these breasts feel good but she not dead enough...wait...what am i saying? Thats easy fixed."
"She said she wants reassurance. She will only go if her sisters can come," the goblin pimp replied.
"What sort of f`ucking pimp are you reasoning with these hos? Wait...dead family orgy, this could be some good kinky s`hit poontang."

Narrator: So it was written, and so it was done, Lord Hypnos (in dead human form) and Markus Turdius had a great bong and poon party in Gadgetzen. Pure peacebloom with recently murdered sisters...it doesn' get any better. All I can say is these mofos are stoned off their face and may wake up wiht some unpleasantries in the morning. (Markus Turdius was too poor to get the good stuff...Fadeleaf, knocks you right off, the s`hits used in rogues poison for f`uck sake! its a good stoning).
Narrator peacing out b`itches!

[T Da B]

Narrator (drunk)
And sho....them hos were all like....yeah *vomits*

"Why the f'uck is there a Tauren in my ass?" Markus Turdius aksed as he woke up on the dreadful morning after.
"Sorry, there was no room left in mine," replied one vampire.
"Hey man, I'm not complaining," Markus Turdius said. So the dumb b'itch spent the whole day with a f'ucking Tauren up his ass. "Guys, did we like go on a f'ucking killing spree or something cos like there are so many dead bodies. S'hit we must've been so f'ucking wasted. Oh well I'm fine with necrophelia." So Markus Turdius began to make sweet love with the corpse of the goblin b'itch he'd been banging last night. "Oh yeah....oh no....oh God....that's not a natural orafice." But Markus Turdius continued to ride that b'itch. Only later did he find out the b'itch he was riding was his cousin, this did not deter Markus Turdius in anyway.
Drunken Narrator again:
Soon everyone was awake and recovering from the consequences of last night. Some guy even shat out a dildo.....man that was some funny s'hit...those b'itches had no idea what was going on.....man they were wasted *hic* *faints*

[B Da T]

Only sobre narrator left: i saw that with untainted eyes. I am now blind.

[B Da T]

sobre narrator: words just gotten in...I am now a solo narrator. The other mofo died from alcohol poisoning, and the other one peaced out to go masturbate somewhere. So here goes...Lord Hypnos was desperate. Not even his powers could relieve this hangover. The pain went from his head, down to the snapped off erections impaled into his legs. Death orgies can be a painful business. He knew he had to find Devilsaur fast. His entire army was arrested by the Steamwheel Cartel (or whatever its called) Bruisers, though they couldn't hold Hypnos and Turdius for any crimes. How they could be so stupid you may ask? They also had a little bit of peacebloom in their system.
"Markus Turdius, we need the powers of Devilsaur...I can relieve the pain we are going through right now." Lord Hypnos said grunting through the agony.

[T Da B]

"Oh thank God, I thought we were gonna be hung over forever. Man that Devilsaur better go down easy otherwise I doubt I'll ever get a hard-on ever again, the pain is just too much." Markus Turdius grasped his head in his hands and followed Lord Hypnos.

[B Da T]

sobre narrator: that other drunko was saying **** about my mum! so i shot him. anyway it was time to move. With no army behind them, they were now companions...Lord Hypnos and Markus Turdius. They reached Un'Goro Crater and stared in amazement at the beautiful hole in the ground. Its beauty reminded Hypnos of his mothers poon. The dinos here were massive and powerful...but they seemed to move aside for Lord Hypnos. No one really gave a f'uck about that walking turd vampire. It appeared they wanted to be rid of Devilsaurs...tyrany.
"Where is he?" Hypnos wondered to himself. Then Markus Turdius was flung through the air. Lord Hypnos turned to see Devilsaur, huge, dominant. Hypnos exclaimed loudly, "Your tyrany end here foul beast!" Devilsaur took a step towards Lord Hypnos. "Thats it! Eat boner mother f'ucker!"
Hypnos then morphed himself into a massive boner...the size of Devilsaur himself. He threw himself at Devilsaur at the sharp erection entered through the mouth and out the back of the head. Devilsaur fell to the ground with a crash. Lord Hypnos approached Markus Turdius. He held out his hand to shake. "We are great companions...and friends...Skid Marks. Now I mus do what i came here to do."
Lord Hypnos tore open Devilsaurs body and drank his blood. The pain of the hangover was suddenly released from Hypnos and his companion's bodies.
"Shut your eyes," he asked, as he sodomised the foul beast...f'ucking it in the anus...an unnatural boner to orifice perhaps...but it would create a new, ultra powerful raptor species.

[B Da T]

ooc. alot of hard work went into this RP and we will be glad to hear your opinions of it.

[T Da B]

ooc: Personally I thought it was smashing. At the start it was a bit silly with all those Taurens, Gnomes and Elves but it soon just got better and better and better. Jolly good stuff. But what did everyone else think? Please tell us!

[T Da B]

ooc: Nork, I know you saw this. Did Lord Hypnos give you a cool death or what!?

[B Da T]

ooc. We shall not harm this RPs beauty!