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Kewlstory
06-05-2006, 10:47 PM
My day began as usual, i woke up to the delightful sound of rain on the roof of the small inn i was staying at in the heart of the picturesque Elwynn Forest.

I had just finished replying to a kind stranger who had offered to make my staff more powerful with a gnomishly clever enchantment, when a mysterious sign appeared before me, I'd seldom seen anything like it. In a hovering dark box a disturbing message was displayed, "No GM support will be available today", as you could well imagine i was aghast. What could possibly have happened in Blizzard's house of magic to deter our oh-so-dedicated Game Masters? Could some of those horribly meddlesome Trolls have attacked? Or the wicked Forsaken? Surely not those brutal Orcs? Well whatever had happened i was determined to find out.

Immediately i arranged a guild meeting at Stormwind to the West. But as soon as i arrived i encountered my first little problem. You see i am a Mage, and for those who don't know, a Mage's job is to make food and water for other people, sort of like a cook. So, as always when i enter a capital city, the spam began to bombard me, how on Azeroth was i supposed to conduct a guild meeting with this going on? A plan had already formed in my brilliant mind! "To the deep run tram", i bellowed at my guildees. Somewhat confused the followed reluctantly.

As soon as the last stragglers had arrived i explained all about the mysterious sign and, to my amazement, they already knew! But yet, they didn't seem to care or even find it unusual. In fact, some of the them were angry that i had called a meeting over such a small matter. I couldn't believe it, were my guildees really traitors to our glorious alliance?

I could feel the musty tension in the underground station i knew that my former friends thought i had found out to much, I was about to be attacked. There was only one thing for it, I had to make a break for it. To my great relief at that moment the tram pulled in and i blinked for my life onto the foremost carriage. As i was speeding to the safety of Ironforge i looked back at the pitiful site of traitors. As i looked into the eyes of one of them i was sure i could see through him, it wasn't the fact that he was a rogue; it wasn't the fact that he had ShadowMelded; it was the fact that his soul had been bought by the devil.

My glorious escape from the soulless sellouts complete, i knew Ironforge wouldn't be safe for long, my enemies would be after me on the next tram. So, to throw them off track i teleported to Darnassus, where some more of my story began to unfold.

My agitation was growing, who out there could i possibly trust? It would have been far to dangerous to ask the whole city as others may have been paid off to turn a blind eye, and more importantly stop those who don't.

After hours of anguished contemplation i decided to try and corner a young elf, if he was one of the traitors and tried to call for help I could silence him quickly enough. But none the less i was still hoping it wouldn't come to that.
"Excuse me young elf?"
"Yes?", he replied timidly
"Do you know anything about the mysterious goings on at Blizzard?"
"Yes", he replied immediately growing in confidence, i could sense his innocence and was now desperate for an answer, so i decided to pursue the conversation.
"Well..." i urged him
"its a strange day in France, preventing them from doing their jobs"
oh no, my worst fears confirmed, What sort of strange thing can stop something as powerful as blizzard? So many thoughts were going one in my mind, so many unanswered questions; How does this young Elf know something so important? Where Is France, Western Kalimdor-ish? I tried to put my thoughts into words and find out these secrets from the innocent young Elf, but nothing happened. I'd lost my voice, as you can imagine this was fairly annoying but i thought to myself," I mustn't lose track, it's not too bad, ill just send a ticket to a GM asking for help with my..." my thought broke off.

There was absolutely nothing i could do; i couldn't speak; couldn't ask a GM for help with my voice; and i had absolutely no idea where in the hell this "France" was. I knew there was no point in dragging my tired legs around the seemingly unending and dangerous plains of Azeroth looking A place i wasn't even certain existed. So, i decided the best thing would be to lie low for the night in Darnassus where i was at least safe for the time being. I knew I'd get up tomorrow hopefully with my voice ready and willing and maybe even the GM's would be back, but even as optimistic as i am i knew the latter was wishful thinking. But one thing was for certain when i wake up the next morning I'm going to get some answers...

(sry to post twice didnt really know what i was doing the first time, im new)

Mincemaker
19-05-2006, 05:05 AM
This is a very amusing story! A story about a person whose life revolves around the game. Is there a continuation of the story?

KalziEast
19-05-2006, 06:03 AM
Not to "flame" or anything, but I'm pretty sure no one really wants to hear about that. I was expecting something more along the lines of actual news.

CreslinHellscream
19-05-2006, 12:32 PM
Eh I thought it was a funny read.

snowieken
19-05-2006, 09:05 PM
Not to "flame" or anything, but I'm pretty sure no one really wants to hear about that. I was expecting something more along the lines of actual news.Then you are clearly in the wrong part of these forums. :)

Kewlstory
20-05-2006, 07:49 PM
This is a very amusing story! A story about a person whose life revolves around the game. Is there a continuation of the story?

there will probably be another section, but it wont be for a while because i have exams to study for. Thanks for your thoughts :)

pipda
22-05-2006, 11:31 PM
Really what was blizz thinking when they put an office in France. The French only work like 3.7 days a week as it is.

Alakon
23-05-2006, 07:00 AM
I'm just posting to say that those quotes are bl**dy funny snowieken.

snowieken
27-05-2006, 01:51 AM
Thanks, although the second one isn't actually meant to be funny... :ponder:

Stigg
04-08-2006, 05:17 PM
Not to "flame" or anything, but I'm pretty sure no one really wants to hear about that. I was expecting something more along the lines of actual news.

News in the Fan FICTION Forum? Interesting....

Really what was blizz thinking when they put an office in France. The French only work like 3.7 days a week as it is.

Thats only during the busy part of the year.

Great story...I found it quite hilarious, adn the best I have read yet. Seemed like you are living vicariously through your character, especially liked the France? Must be in Eastern Kalimdorish.

Mysticknight
04-09-2006, 08:15 PM
This was actualy quite funny, I enjoyed it.

Stigg
19-12-2006, 09:43 PM
Still the best story written up. I wish you would come back and do some more!

rottentomato
07-03-2007, 05:35 AM
bump. stigg reminded me about this story, and i loved it so much i figured a few of the newer people to the forums should give it a read or two. i would agree its one of the best writings i have read on here. i wish they would write more, hope this pulls them from the abyss, and entices them to perhaps titilate our senses with another blast of entertainment

Kewlstory
04-04-2007, 04:07 PM
Hi there, thanks to everyone for the nice comments. Here is part two of my story entitled – The return of the blizzard…

The next morning I was awoken from an uneasy sleep by a deafening crash that seemed to come from the coast. I leapt up, now remembering the horrifying events of the previous day, and with new strength in my limbs I found the courage to continue on with my quest for knowledge.

First things first, I needed to find out if my voice had returned to me. Too proud to talk to myself, and doubting my sanity anyway, I thought it best to find someone to try and communicate with. So, I ran to the inn expecting to find it bustling with people as usual, but to my astonishment, the place was absolutely empty. “It’s still early”, I thought to myself someone would be along any minute. It was strange for hours I was desperate for anyone to walk through that door, but when it finally happened I regretted it with immediately. Through the door came what I can only describe as a rather large, blue, …octopus. As I’m sure you can imagine, I was stunned by this mysterious creature. I wasn’t certain whether to destroy this abomination or try to talk to it. After a minute of exchanges of timid glances to one another, I thought it had gone on long enough. “Err, who are… my voice is back!” I was so ecstatic to hear the sound of my own voice that I almost forgot I was in the presence of a monster. I finally managed to formulate my thoughts into words; “What are you?” I said.

“I’m a draenei” he said “why, haven’t you got the expansion?”

“Expansion, what do you mean, where did you come from, who are you?”

“LoL ok you wanna RP – I came here on a spaceship which crashed over there (he pointed) and my name is Omgimgnawtfpwnu.”

“RP!?” I muttered, but he didn’t here me. “Oh, that must have been the crash that woke me. Well Omgimgnawtfpwnu here on Azeroth strange things have been happening. Yesterday our GM’s disappeared suspiciously and no-one would help me discover the truth”

“What are you on about m8 I placed a ticket 5 minutes ago and one of them just replied to me”

“They are back!? Hold on, 5 minutes did you say? I don’t think so, our GM’s only reply after 5 hours. There is only one possibility, Blizzard has been infiltrated…. but who by?”

“The burning legion…” said Omgimgnawtfpwnu

“My god, are you serious, the burning legion are but a defeated force capable of nothing tangible”

“No, my friend the burning legion have unleashed a crusade against Azeroth and will stop at nothing until all mortal life is erased, wow I’m good at RP” said Omgimgnawtfpwnu
This news seemed to take the strength from my knees, they buckled and I fell to the ground. This explained everything; the GM’s were the most powerful thing on this land, it makes perfect sense for the burning legion to target them first, without them the rest of us are powerless. Almost resigned to defeat a spark of hope crept into my mind. My guild were not traitors, they were simply terrified of this invasion. This notion filled me with vigour; there is strength still in the alliance.

“Omgimgnawtfpwnu, will you aid me in gathering a force of dedicated soldiers to try and repel this invasion?”

“Sure” Omgimgnawtfpwnu said, “just run me through deadmines first”

I thought this was a strange request, I was trying to construct an army capable of destroying the deadliest force of all time and he wanted to go and kill some pirates. Then it occurred to me, how could an alien to these lands know so much. I came to the only possible conclusion, he is not trying to help defeat the invasion, he is part of it. He is trying to get me out of the way so the burning legion can launch their assault un-apposed, I will not allow this. With one sharp fire blast, Omgimgnawtfpwnu was no more.

I called a guild meeting, knowing that only a compelling speech would instil the confidence and pride into my friends that would allow them to fight for the freedom of themselves and their people. As I waited for them to file into the inn I thought about what I would say to them. I was going to ask them to face almost certain death to gain only a small chance of victory. As the last few stragglers stumbled over Omgimgnawtfpwnu’s remains into the room I stood up and began what I knew would be my final campaign against evil in my life.

“Follow me to Blasted Lands – I will explain everything there”, and they did.

I explained everything to them and they seemed willing to take on the invaders as they arrived. As we waited outside the dark portal I knew it was time for my speech so I mounted up and took my place at the lead of the guild.

“Hold your ground! Hold your ground!
Sons of Azeroth, of Kalimdor, my brothers,
I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
A day may come when the courage of men, elves, dwarves and gnomes fails,
When we forsake our friends
And break all bonds of fellowship,
But it is not this day.
An hour of wolves and shattered shields,
When the age of the Alliance comes crashing down,
But it is not this day!
This day we fight!!
By all that you hold dear on this good Earth,
I bid you stand, The Alliance of Azeroth!!!”

Coming soon (probably :P) part 3.

Stigg
04-04-2007, 05:35 PM
OMG!!!!! He's back! Woot!

Great story once again! You really need to stick around and write more! I love the way you write, acting like a character in a GAME as opposed to a character in a world. Hysterical! I say you call copyright infringement on that Will Feral movie where he is a character in a book.

Anyways, anxiously awaiting episode 3! Now just don't make us all wait for another year!

fallonquinn
04-04-2007, 05:37 PM
Cute, reminds me of ./HACK/SIGN. Refreshing break, kudos.

Fallon

Kewlstory
07-04-2007, 10:27 PM
Thanks for the comments, the next part will be within the next year i promise :P, probably in the next week or two. I just can't think of where to take the story because there can't really be a battle.

memetootoo
07-04-2007, 10:44 PM
Hahaaa that was wonderful to read :)

Can't wait for more!

I should really visit here more often :D

Stigg
10-04-2007, 08:55 AM
Thanks for the comments, the next part will be within the next year i promise :P, probably in the next week or two. I just can't think of where to take the story because there can't really be a battle.

Sure there can! you can't tell me you have never faced the dreaded "OMG rogue attacking me and I am lagging!11one!1!"

Kewlstory
10-04-2007, 06:20 PM
Sure there can! you can't tell me you have never faced the dreaded "OMG rogue attacking me and I am lagging!11one!1!"

haha, good idea a pvp war

Grom DELscream
29-10-2007, 04:45 AM
I agree with whoever was wondering what they were thinking putting a Blizzard office in France. The French backed out of a couple wars, Why would they want to play
"War"craft? They probably have their own French version called Peace Craft.

:afro: Peace out, I mean errr... War out

No Offense to all the French Americans

French Americans own....

CatBearCow
03-11-2008, 03:52 PM
This is still my favourite even though the guy is a liar, its been well over a year and still no 3rd part :( something tells me hes not gonna come back again. Oh well the first two parts are still worth reading.

Nasl adhin
08-12-2008, 02:14 AM
“No, my friend the burning legion have unleashed a crusade against Azeroth and will stop at nothing until all mortal life is erased, wow I’m good at RP” said Omgimgnawtfpwnu"

My favorite. Awesome. /laugh