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BrutusOMaximus
29-06-2006, 08:04 AM
MAREK AND AETHER GO TO WHITE?S CASTLE

*Disclaimer* This is not supposed to be high literature, but fun, campy fan fiction. It was written while my sociology teacher decided he should spend an hour telling us about Darwin and the discovery of evolution.

Marek knew he had to get as many of them as possible before Aether came in. Once he started swinging that blazing sword and calling down holy thunder, the whole room would be on them. And damn, this room was packed. Monks and adepts knelt in prayerful pairs through the middle, while chaplains stood watch around the edges. Luckily, it was also dark and noisy, as Mograine himself led worship, kneeling on the altar, chanting his lungs out with his eyes closed in the holy bliss of zealots. Schmuck. Time to make him pay for his inattentiveness. Time to go to work.
Marek pulled out his garrote wire and slipped along the back wall to the left. The first chaplain was just a yard in front of him, eyes locked on the service ahead. Oops. Marek detached himself from the wall and slipped behind him without a whisper, wrapping his wire around the crusader?s neck, slitting it instantly and pulling him back into the shadows of the corner in one seamless motion. This could be easier than he thought. Marek worked his way up the left wall with deadly speed and silence, slaying all five of the chaplains there and stashing them in their conveniently dark alcoves.
Now time for the right. Halfway up that side, the wire caught on an enormous amulet worn by a chaplain, who turned around in surprise. Marek drove his elbow into his neck, slamming him against the wall and silencing any outburst. In an instant, Marek?s dagger finished the job, but the scuffle alerted another Crusader ten feet ahead. The chaplain turned and found a throwing dagger in his throat before he could make sense of the shadow standing over his fallen compatriot.
The right side of the Cathedral finished as well, Marek slipped back to the rear wall and contemplated the brighter center of the room, littered with worshippers. Two more chaplains, unaware that they were the only ones left, stood in front of the back two pillars, behind the first row of worshippers. Marek moved around the far side of the right one and swung his dagger at the man?s throat. The light caught the blade and the crusader jerked away, only getting nicked as the dagger glanced loudly off the stone. Marek?s left hand finished the job, but the damage had been done. Though he and the body were again unseen behind the pillar, the other chaplain and the closest line of worshippers had turned and noticed the absence of their comrade.
Time to start the show. Marek hurled a dagger into the giant wooden doors at the back of the Cathedral, leaving it quivering three feet above the floor. Aether, kneeling on the other side, leapt forward and shoved the doors open wide. The setting sun outlined his armor, which shined with a light of its own, and the hilt of his sword sticking up beside his gleaming helm. The crusaders were frozen dumbstruck. Marek smirked, Aether sure knew how to make an entrance. He drew his giant sword off his back, its surface rippling with holy blue flame, and walked forward, his lips moving with prayers and blessings that flashed and enhanced his palpable aura. Marek, leaning against the pillar facing Aether, but out of the enemy?s sight, turned his grin to him as he felt the strength and protection of Aether?s presence fill and uplift him. The time for subtly was done; Marek sheathed his daggers and drew both his swords. Oh yeah, time to get it on.
The sight of brilliant Aether walking determinedly towards them made the five crusaders completely forget the wraith they had not seen take their comrade. Jerking out of their stupor, they charged Aether, who raised his sword to meet them. As they charged towards the pillar, Marek leapt out and slashed the two closest cleanly through the throat. The others crashed into Aether, who never broke stride as he dispatched two and drove the other solidly, implacably back. Marek twirled his blades at Aether?s side as the paladin killed his combatant, striking cleanly through his sword and head. The clash of blades drew the attention of the rest of the room except Mograine, whose chanting and induced trance kept him completely unaware of the collapse of his world around him. All the crusaders charged the pair, arming sword, mace, and spell. Marek laughed and spun off, disappearing amongst the pillars again, while Aether continued his relentless walk towards the altar.
As the attackers barreled into Aether, their wave broken on the rock of his might, Marek leapt out from the pillars into their middle, swords dancing as he slipped between their strokes. With complete abandon Marek attacked the crusaders, feverishly slashing and dodging the multitude of blows aimed at him. Finally an Abbot drove a sword through his back, grinning manically as Marek stumbled back against a pillar, now only fending off attacks. The crusaders, sensing the lull in attack, redoubled their assault on Aether, but found it suddenly useless. The gleaming paladin stood untouched in holy prayer as their weapons collided harmlessly with golden light before ever reaching him. Finishing, Aether threw a glowing hand into the air as Marek suddenly leapt off the pillar with renewed vigor and health, cutting down his opponents and swaying into the pack that assaulted Aether.
Their numbers thinned by Marek?s first assault, the crusaders fell rapidly to the pair as they once again fought in unison. Marek fenced with two while Aether drove the final defender deeper and deeper into the cathedral with his steady gait. Marek twisted one sword out of its owner?s hand and ducked the other, bringing his blades across the stomachs of both crusaders. His fight finished, he sprinted up towards Aether, who killed the monk at foot of the altar, lobbing his head clean off.
?Sure took your time on that heal, I was beginning to think you weren?t really interested in this fight,? said a grinning Marek as he drew level. Aether fixed him with a stare.
?Just keep anyone else off me while I remind Mograine of the light?s true path.? He said as he drew a hammer from his belt.
?Sure thing.? Marek slipped into the pillars once more.
Aether drew back his arm and threw his hammer crashing into the back of Mograine?s breastplate, knocking the chanting zealot over the altar and back to reality.
?Time to find the light again, Mograine,? said Aether as he raised his sword. Morgraine clambered to his feet and whirled about, drawing his own weapon.
?Scourge tainted fool! You will pay for obstructing the Crusade!? Mograine charged down the altar and barreled into Aether, their blades crashing and sparking against each other.
From the shadows, Marek saw crusaders emerge from the far antechambers, drawn by the sudden end of the chanting and the now audible sounds of combat. Moving along the wall, Marek marveled again at how much a shiny paladin can narrow people?s vision. As they charged towards their commander they didn?t see the shadow detach from the wall until it was too late. His enemies relieved of vital body parts, Marek ran back to Aether in time to see him defeat Mograine, knocking his sword aside and plunging his own deep into a seam in the Commander?s armor.
Removing his sword and stepping over the defeated zealot, Aether climbed the altar towards the doors at its top as Marek joined him. They stopped at the top of the altar, side by side, facing the doorway.
?Well, this is what we came for? said Marek.
?Aye, make sure you are ready.?
Marek pulled out his poisons and re-coated his blades. He felt strength flow once more into his arms, and looked over to see Aether finishing his prayers.
?Ready??
?Lets do this.? The pair tapped blades together and moved forward, but the doors opened before they reached them, revealing the furious High Inquisitor Whitemane?

Tor varr
30-06-2006, 10:40 PM
I have a couple suggestions for improving the story.

One, break up your text into proper paragraphs, with a blank line between each paragraph. This will help make it easier to read.

Two, tell us what races these two guys are.