Mincemaker
02-09-2006, 06:49 AM
Note: I was cleaning the house, when I remembered Timmy the Cruel and came up with this story. It may suck, it may not, but enjoy nonetheless.
The Tale of Timmy
Once upon a time, in the town of Brill, Lordaeron, there lived a little boy named Timmy. Timmy is just 4 years old, and the son of a farmer. He was a spoilt brat. His father bought him expensive stuff, including a superior-level peashooter.
So, one day, little Timmy was playing with his peashooter, shooting birds and beasts merrily, ignorant of a bunch of thugs strolling in the forest, laughing away while dragging swag. Little Timmy accidentally shot one of the bandits in the head, leaving behind a large lump on the head. “Why you little <censored>!” yelled the bandit as he drew his axe. He stopped dead in his tracks when he discovered that his attacker was little Timmy.
Mr. Bandit examined little Timmy from head to toe, and decided to kidnap him instead. No one knows why Mr. Bandit will kidnap the son of a mere farmer. Maybe the peashooter gave the false impression that little Timmy is the son of a noble?
And there sat little Timmy in a cage. He was fed dog food for two days while being laughed at. So on the second day in captivity, while the bandits were arguing on what to do with the ransom money, Timmy sat in his cage, crying.
Suddenly, he heard heavy boots and looked up. A very handsome man, wielding a brutally large hammer, carrying an equally large book, followed by his men in shining armor, marched into the camp, bashing and smashing bandits left right and center. The scene is, obviously gory, but little Timmy was too captivated by the sheer handsome-ness of the paladin to pay notice of all the bloodshed around him.
Apparently, the man, Uncle Arthas is his name, was there to rescue Timmy. You may wonder why the Prince of Lordaeron would take the trouble to save a 4 year old spoilt brat, but the reason he was there was because Timmy’s mother asked him REAL nicely (and promised him apple pie for lunch).
And thus, little Timmy was rescued and sent home. After a very delicious lunch of apple pie, Uncle Arthas waved Timmy and his family goodbye and walked off to do whatever he was originally there to do. Little Timmy, since then, swore he would become a paladin.
A year passed, and little Timmy was back again in the forest shooting things with his peashooter (the kid never learnt), while wondering how to become a paladin so he could see Uncle Arthas again. After having his fun, he walked home, only to see the town of Brill being razed to the ground.
There was a huge army of undead slaughtering farmers over and over, and leading them was a large, ugly man on an equally ugly undead horse, wielding a brutally ugly runeblade. Baron Rivendere was his name, and he was here to make undead. So Mr. Rivendere was happily killing farmers and raising undead, giggling like a little girl, paying no notice to little Timmy (who was so tiny he could be trampled accidentally).
Little Timmy saw with horror, but suddenly he had a bright idea. If he defeated Mr. Rivendere, he will surely be taken in and trained as a paladin. Then he will meet Uncle Arthas again. The kid was overjoyed, loaded up his peashooter, yelled “Fur teh Alliance!” and shot Baron Rivendere in the head (he really really never learnt). Baron Rivendere, who was ecstatically slaughtering farmers rubbed the large lump on his head, feeling very irritated. He turned and stared at Timmy. Without a second thought, he cut Timmy down.
So little Timmy was cut down, and raised back from the dead as Timmy the Cruel. Timmy the Cruel was horrified on how ugly he had become. No way can he become the awesomely handsome paladin he hoped to be. He then looked up and stared at Mr. Rivendere in the face, who was shrugging away.
Then Timmy heard a voice that made him swell with happiness. He heard Uncle Arthas in his head. “You shall, till death, obey Baron Rivendere and do as he commands,” whispered the very cold voice of Uncle Arthas. Timmy the Cruel didn’t notice the coldness. All he knew was Uncle Arthas was talking to him.
And thus, he did as what Uncle Arthas said, thinking that he can still become a paladin, if he impresses Uncle Arthas. He obviously didn’t know Uncle Arthas had brutally killed his own Father (King Terenas Menethil) and he was the new Lich King. Obviously, Timmy doesn’t care either. He just wanted to impress Uncle Arthas.
And so, he spent the next 4 years killing things under the orders of Mr. Rivendere, in hope that Uncle Arthas will pay notice and praise him. He missed Uncle Arthas, because Uncle Arthas did not speak to him in his head for 4 years. The amount of atrocity Timmy the Cruel inflicted caused every single living creature (and no-longer-living creature, like the Forsaken) to hate him. They don’t know he was a 9 year old boy stuck in the body of a ghoul. They only knew that he was a monster.
So one day, Timmy sat in the burning city of Stratholme, wondering on how next to impress Uncle Arthas. Then he heard heavy boot. He looked up and stared at his very very angry father in the eyes. You see, his father, upon returning to his farm, saw the destruction of Brill. He got very pissed off, you see, and joined the Argent Dawn after 4 years mastering the art of stabbing things with a pitchfork.
Timmy’s father, followed by the men (and orc, and tauren, and dwarf, and Forsaken) of the Argent Dawn, stared at Timmy the Cruel. He noticed Timmy’s peashooter and was really really pissed off. “YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED MY SON!”
Timmy was overjoyed to see his father again, and he ran up to his father, ready to tear him to shreds (he wasn’t in control of his body, like all undead Scourge) while crying “Father! Father!”
Of course, to his father, all he could hear was gurgling noise. “You dare taunt me after you killed my son!” the old man yelled as he wielded his epic-level pitchfork. “No, it is Timmy! Father, it’s Timmy!” cried the ghoul as he laid his claws at his old man.
And thus, a fierce battle ensured, with Timmy making a lot of gurgling noise, and the old man yelling “DIE YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLER OF SONS! YOU FOUL BEAST! GIVE ME TIMMY BACK!” After five minutes of fighting (and noise-making), Timmy’s father stabbed Timmy the Cruel in the head with his epic-level pitchfork, and thus ending the fight.
And thus, as Timmy lay dying, he pleaded to Uncle Arthas, “I’m sorry, Uncle Arthas. I couldn’t do as you told me to any longer. Father killed me.”
And what did Uncle Arthas said? “Shut up, you idiot! Anub’arak is about to checkmate me! (Amazing how a Crypt Lord can play chess without smashing the chessboard)” And thus, Timmy died, ignored and slain by his own father (with an epic-level pitchfork).
As for Timmy’s father, he and his ragtag party killed Baron Rivendere, ending the Scourge’s control upon Stratholme, while in the same time, rescued an Argent Dawn agent Ysida in the process. He returned to Light’s Hope Chapel as a hero.
And so this concludes the tale of Timmy.
The Tale of Timmy
Once upon a time, in the town of Brill, Lordaeron, there lived a little boy named Timmy. Timmy is just 4 years old, and the son of a farmer. He was a spoilt brat. His father bought him expensive stuff, including a superior-level peashooter.
So, one day, little Timmy was playing with his peashooter, shooting birds and beasts merrily, ignorant of a bunch of thugs strolling in the forest, laughing away while dragging swag. Little Timmy accidentally shot one of the bandits in the head, leaving behind a large lump on the head. “Why you little <censored>!” yelled the bandit as he drew his axe. He stopped dead in his tracks when he discovered that his attacker was little Timmy.
Mr. Bandit examined little Timmy from head to toe, and decided to kidnap him instead. No one knows why Mr. Bandit will kidnap the son of a mere farmer. Maybe the peashooter gave the false impression that little Timmy is the son of a noble?
And there sat little Timmy in a cage. He was fed dog food for two days while being laughed at. So on the second day in captivity, while the bandits were arguing on what to do with the ransom money, Timmy sat in his cage, crying.
Suddenly, he heard heavy boots and looked up. A very handsome man, wielding a brutally large hammer, carrying an equally large book, followed by his men in shining armor, marched into the camp, bashing and smashing bandits left right and center. The scene is, obviously gory, but little Timmy was too captivated by the sheer handsome-ness of the paladin to pay notice of all the bloodshed around him.
Apparently, the man, Uncle Arthas is his name, was there to rescue Timmy. You may wonder why the Prince of Lordaeron would take the trouble to save a 4 year old spoilt brat, but the reason he was there was because Timmy’s mother asked him REAL nicely (and promised him apple pie for lunch).
And thus, little Timmy was rescued and sent home. After a very delicious lunch of apple pie, Uncle Arthas waved Timmy and his family goodbye and walked off to do whatever he was originally there to do. Little Timmy, since then, swore he would become a paladin.
A year passed, and little Timmy was back again in the forest shooting things with his peashooter (the kid never learnt), while wondering how to become a paladin so he could see Uncle Arthas again. After having his fun, he walked home, only to see the town of Brill being razed to the ground.
There was a huge army of undead slaughtering farmers over and over, and leading them was a large, ugly man on an equally ugly undead horse, wielding a brutally ugly runeblade. Baron Rivendere was his name, and he was here to make undead. So Mr. Rivendere was happily killing farmers and raising undead, giggling like a little girl, paying no notice to little Timmy (who was so tiny he could be trampled accidentally).
Little Timmy saw with horror, but suddenly he had a bright idea. If he defeated Mr. Rivendere, he will surely be taken in and trained as a paladin. Then he will meet Uncle Arthas again. The kid was overjoyed, loaded up his peashooter, yelled “Fur teh Alliance!” and shot Baron Rivendere in the head (he really really never learnt). Baron Rivendere, who was ecstatically slaughtering farmers rubbed the large lump on his head, feeling very irritated. He turned and stared at Timmy. Without a second thought, he cut Timmy down.
So little Timmy was cut down, and raised back from the dead as Timmy the Cruel. Timmy the Cruel was horrified on how ugly he had become. No way can he become the awesomely handsome paladin he hoped to be. He then looked up and stared at Mr. Rivendere in the face, who was shrugging away.
Then Timmy heard a voice that made him swell with happiness. He heard Uncle Arthas in his head. “You shall, till death, obey Baron Rivendere and do as he commands,” whispered the very cold voice of Uncle Arthas. Timmy the Cruel didn’t notice the coldness. All he knew was Uncle Arthas was talking to him.
And thus, he did as what Uncle Arthas said, thinking that he can still become a paladin, if he impresses Uncle Arthas. He obviously didn’t know Uncle Arthas had brutally killed his own Father (King Terenas Menethil) and he was the new Lich King. Obviously, Timmy doesn’t care either. He just wanted to impress Uncle Arthas.
And so, he spent the next 4 years killing things under the orders of Mr. Rivendere, in hope that Uncle Arthas will pay notice and praise him. He missed Uncle Arthas, because Uncle Arthas did not speak to him in his head for 4 years. The amount of atrocity Timmy the Cruel inflicted caused every single living creature (and no-longer-living creature, like the Forsaken) to hate him. They don’t know he was a 9 year old boy stuck in the body of a ghoul. They only knew that he was a monster.
So one day, Timmy sat in the burning city of Stratholme, wondering on how next to impress Uncle Arthas. Then he heard heavy boot. He looked up and stared at his very very angry father in the eyes. You see, his father, upon returning to his farm, saw the destruction of Brill. He got very pissed off, you see, and joined the Argent Dawn after 4 years mastering the art of stabbing things with a pitchfork.
Timmy’s father, followed by the men (and orc, and tauren, and dwarf, and Forsaken) of the Argent Dawn, stared at Timmy the Cruel. He noticed Timmy’s peashooter and was really really pissed off. “YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED MY SON!”
Timmy was overjoyed to see his father again, and he ran up to his father, ready to tear him to shreds (he wasn’t in control of his body, like all undead Scourge) while crying “Father! Father!”
Of course, to his father, all he could hear was gurgling noise. “You dare taunt me after you killed my son!” the old man yelled as he wielded his epic-level pitchfork. “No, it is Timmy! Father, it’s Timmy!” cried the ghoul as he laid his claws at his old man.
And thus, a fierce battle ensured, with Timmy making a lot of gurgling noise, and the old man yelling “DIE YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLER OF SONS! YOU FOUL BEAST! GIVE ME TIMMY BACK!” After five minutes of fighting (and noise-making), Timmy’s father stabbed Timmy the Cruel in the head with his epic-level pitchfork, and thus ending the fight.
And thus, as Timmy lay dying, he pleaded to Uncle Arthas, “I’m sorry, Uncle Arthas. I couldn’t do as you told me to any longer. Father killed me.”
And what did Uncle Arthas said? “Shut up, you idiot! Anub’arak is about to checkmate me! (Amazing how a Crypt Lord can play chess without smashing the chessboard)” And thus, Timmy died, ignored and slain by his own father (with an epic-level pitchfork).
As for Timmy’s father, he and his ragtag party killed Baron Rivendere, ending the Scourge’s control upon Stratholme, while in the same time, rescued an Argent Dawn agent Ysida in the process. He returned to Light’s Hope Chapel as a hero.
And so this concludes the tale of Timmy.