WoW poetry

[Unknowable]

let me know what you think - inspired in part by the BC trailer, spec. the Horde centered scenes

Blood washing down like rain
Pouring over my chest, dripping from the boughs
Ankle-deep in crimson juice, panting like a dog
Climbinb the mountain, covered in gore
Lightning courses the heavens as I look up and smile
I reach the top, my face turned up to the torrent
Game Over

[nosoup4crr]

Good structure, very workable imagery. You spend the first 3 lines talking about blood. Try taking one of the clauses out, and separate the others with some type of landscape imagery. Generally, all imagery works best when it appeals to the senses. Compare the color of the torrent to something...explain what the air smells like...or how warm the blood is, etc.

How about a limerick?


Rogue ninjaed my phat loot.
Now he dances like it's cute.
I will "slash cry,"
then I'll "slash sigh,"
and claim I don't give a hoot.