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View Full Version : In the name of the Alliance


Eonblue
13-02-2007, 08:14 PM
Clink
Clunk
Clank
Clink
Clink
Clunk

A clumsy, heavy, blistered hand wrapped tightly around a splintered wooden handle brought the malets head down without finese. Rock chips crumbled to the ground with each strike. Occasionally a rogue piece would strike the wall behind and cause the stray piece of earth to crumple into yet even smaller pieces. The light was dim in this dreary cave as only torches sporadically placed provided lumination. The ununiform stone cast more shadows than the light chased away. Hunched over a large boulder, swinging the tool without conviction there sat a hulking mistake of creation.
"One day we show our worth" the Orc mumbled.
"They say we is wasted breath, but this is no true. That is right, true?" the Orc turned as he posed this question to his only friend.
But as always the head he shared with the body gave no answer, instead it lay limp with chin to chest, giving no movement and no reply. With the hand not weilding the hammer, our Orc touched the beaded necklace around its neck, as if for comfort. Somehow, it knew this was a gift from its mother at his birth, eventhough he had no recollection of his mothers face.
While this Orc may lack the mind to function with his sociaty, as almost any creature that is aware of its existence, it understood the emotions of sadness, lonliness and the deep need to belong.

Softly, the sounds of gravel and dirt underfoot caught the attention of our pathetic Orc despite its own pointless hammering. As it turned, agony ripped through its body clouding all thought. In a sudden burst of movement, the Orc bolted on it's feet and wheeled around on its heels in time to see a purely terrifying creature of hell charging at him swinging a large blood stained axe. In the corner of its good eye, the Orc noticed a man creature in weatherstained (and was that blood too?) robes and garments. Volatile fire seems to bubble from the man creatures palms. As if recongnition of this detail ignited the flames, the ORC became ingulfed in fire as hot as Ragnoross own breath.
"ME SMASH YOU DEAD!" our Orc managed to scream before the fel demons axe bashed him in it's good face, crushing many bones in the process including its jaw, preventing the opening and shutting and distilling speech from the creature for the rest of it's short life.
The next few moments went by in a haze, out of focus to the Orc.
As the ground rushed to meet its face, it recalled some faint memory that may have been at its birth. Many forelorn faces grimaced at the sight of this new creature that had just come into the world. Other faces turned in shame.
A final axe blow to the Orcs stomach shattered all thought save for one;
this is death
As the Orcs last breath escaped him, he saw through one bloodied eye, a warlock walk toward him and without care for its existence and rip the bead from around its neck. With the beads draped around the human creaturs first, the last comperhenstion the Orc had before it died was that the movements the warlock began doing was in fact a dance.

Eonblue
14-02-2007, 05:00 PM
I wrote that yesterday in some down time at work...reading it now I see some mistakes I should have corrected. But I would love to know your opinions, was it difficult to read? Do you feel it flowed well enough?

EL MACISH
17-02-2007, 03:45 PM
your story was 98% perfect only thing i didn't like was how dumb the Orc sounded lol



continued
As the Orcs vision faded away along with his soul suddenly,he felt heat and his chest jerked up with life, He attempted to reopen his eyes but he did only to be blinded again but not from but by light!
Then, for a moment, everything was calm breaking the calmness was a light and gentle hand upon the orcs face, breaking the silence a soft voice spoke..
"Open ye eyes"
At first the Orc hesitated for fear of not knowing what had happened to him,but overcoming his fear he opened his eyes only to be blinded again, but not by light, this time he was blinded by beauty, there standing b4 the Orc was a beautiful priestess clad in a red robe dripping in gold,
she had long golden hair and skin the shade of a humans which confused the Orc because she had the ears of an elf and eyes green as his skin.
The Orc speaks.....
"What are U?"
The priestess leans her head like a confused dog
"what do you mean Orc?"
The Orc stands up the points to her ears..
"you look human your ears elf"
The elf surprised in the orcs lack of knowledge answers
"I am a Elf"
The Orc confused speaks..
"what elf be?"
Now irritated the elf answer quickly...
"Look Orc i have no time for ye questions i most go after that lock!"
As the elf tries to run after the lock the Orc grabs her by the arm....
"You bring me from now i fight for you"
The elf surprised.....
"well can ye fight?"
The orc sure of him self flexed his arm,the elf smiles faintly and turns her head to blush and tells the Orc......
"come then follow me quickly"
She turns back around to see the Orc picking up his work tool...
"and what does ye plan on doing with that?"
The Orc confused....
"me fight with this"
The elf giggles..
"no no no Orc that will not do"
The elf calls for her mount when it arrives she reaches into a large bag on its right side...
"here Orc use these"
She hands him a small but heavy mace, and tells him to hold it it in his right hand.Then she gives him a small light axe and tells him its for his left hand, as he grabs each weapon he feels a rush of strength flow threw his body.
then the priestess looks the Orc up and down, thinks to her self for a minute, then reaches in another bag on her mounts left side and pulls a plate helmet leather boots and pauldrones chain leggings and a plate chest.She hands it all to the Orc he puts it on.
priestess...
"that will have to do"
The Orc looks down at his self all clad in armor looks up at the priestess and says....
"thank you...... now lets get the man"
The priestess laughs loudly....
"ye is called a warlock and yes lets get him before ye gets away"
They ran towards the direction the lock went a hour had past and they were starting to lose hope but then!...CLUNK....CLUNK...CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK there just over the horizon charging toward the Orc and Priestess came charging the lock's Fel guard!
The elf glanced quickly at the Orc and nodded, the Orc jerked his head backed yelling in rage and charged the the Fel guard. Within in minutes the Fel guard was but not a second after rushing over the horizon, came the lock yelling and screaming spells.the show of lights left the Orc in awe of the beautiful but dangerous lights. The priestess healed the Orc then bubbled her self.
Then yelled at the Orc....
"don't stare, charge him you fool"
Snapping out of a daze the Orc charged the warlock and brutally bashed his face in over and over the priestess had to grab the Orc hugging him from the back assuring him it was okay, he could stop now. The locks hand was stiff but some how still pointing toward toe sky as if shadow magic would come from his hand.In his hung the very same beads he had stolen from the Orc earlier the priestess grabbed the beads from its hands white the off of it on to her own beautiful robes fixed the latch which kept the beads wearable and placed it around the Orcs neck..................................

:grin: sorry for jacking your story lol

Eonblue
20-02-2007, 06:34 PM
LoL, thanks for feedback...initially i tried to make him sound..well frankly..retarded, that way it was kinda like a human alliance killing orcs for quest where kinda the bad guy...anyway, thanks again though!

rottentomato
21-02-2007, 01:27 AM
im glad he got banned

earindur
21-02-2007, 06:21 PM
why did he get banned?