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View Full Version : Angry driver vs. Me


Stigg
06-03-2007, 12:43 AM
I don't know why I enjoy telling my daily stupid stories to yall, but here we go:

I have an incredibly short commute to work...about 4 minutes. I usually walk into work about 10 minutes late after driving atleast twice the speed limit on the backroads to my building. Anyways...it all started about a week ago. I fly out of my neighborhood only to get stuck behind some jack-hole going less than the speed limit. And when the speed limit is already 25 mph, 20 is ridiculously slow. So I start riding her....and that is when I see it. Plastered on the back bumper of her car is a Sticker that says,

Honk if you have never seen an uzi fired out a car window.

Finding that interesting (and being the jackbutt that I am) I lay on my horn. For a good 20 seconds. I get the finger thrown at me after the first couple seconds. Well....I am riding her still and after the 3 minute drive, she pulls into my parking lot.....and parks right in front of my building. I am already late for work, and I figured I had a valid reason to honk at her.....as I had NEVER seen an uzi fired out a window.

So we both get out of our cars and she starts SCREAMING at me. I found it relatively funny, so I said, "i wasn't being mean....I just was following directions" and walked inside.

So about 2 days later, the same thing happens again. She is in front of me and I start blwoing the horn again. She was going the speed limit so I wasn't riding her....but I REALLY wanted to see an uzi fired out of a window. Same thing happens. She pulls into my parking lot, gets out and starts screaming again. This time I ask her if she has an uzi. She didn't answer and just continued screaming her pretty little face off at me.

Now then. Today.... I leave my office and am walking down the stairs to leave for the day. And there she is. She was checking the community mailbox, saw me, smiled, and said, "your an ass," and got in her car. Looking forward to screwin with her some more, I pull out behind her, and blaze my horn.

But as I start pulling up closer, I realize that bumper sticker was different. Instead of it saying, "Honk if you have never seen an Uzi fired out a car window" There was a handwritten piece of paper that said, "Honk if you are going to hell"

Yes. I got wtfpwn'ed by a 40 year old soccer mom in a minivan.

Hmm so apparently my guildmates only rated this experience as 3/10....they were expecting some form of actual gun fire. Sorry for the let down.

SLUGFly
06-03-2007, 04:14 AM
Dude!! I lawled!! I cried!! This gets a full 4 nose salute from the Slug! It was pretty trollish but man funny as hell! :grin:

Foonyak
06-03-2007, 02:27 PM
Well, starting at a 10/10 (for having the cajones to see if she would fire the uzi), I have to deduct 5 for lack of gun play. But on the other hand, she's taking your jackholeness and turning it back on you, so you get 2 bonus points. Plus (or minus, rather), you got wtfpwnt by a soccer mom in a minivan (-1).

Not quite as bad as your guildies rated you: 6/10

Stigg
06-03-2007, 02:35 PM
Well, starting at a 10/10 (for having the cajones to see if she would fire the uzi), I have to deduct 5 for lack of gun play. But on the other hand, she's taking your jackholeness and turning it back on you, so you get 2 bonus points. Plus (or minus, rather), you got wtfpwnt by a soccer mom in a minivan (-1).

Not quite as bad as your guildies rated you: 6/10


Ahh good. Gun play would have made it much much better....except I hear the real life corpse walk is a pretty darn long one.

Foonyak
06-03-2007, 02:52 PM
Hey man, you were the one honking out of the curiosity of seeing an uzi fired. :grin: But still, an interesting and funny story to start the day is always a good thing.

Zezeh
06-03-2007, 07:12 PM
Pretty good story… Although like your Guild mates I was expecting her to shoot your wheels at least :(.

Idol
06-03-2007, 11:50 PM
I'm not quite sure what I was expecting. I mean, gun play of some sort, but what would she shoot? It's not like she'd lean out the window and blow your head off just for honking your horn.

Still, an amusing read. 6/10.

Ju Smurph
07-03-2007, 12:34 AM
/rofl

nice work man.

Stigg
07-03-2007, 12:34 AM
Haha, well I think my guildmates are rather spoiled. Since I can cuss and tell....erm...innappropriate experiences with them they have a higher standard I guess.

To put a 3/10 into perspective...they rated my "cop car kidnapping" experience as a 5/10.

Tanitha
07-03-2007, 12:38 AM
Cop car kidnapping? I think you are holding out on us Stigg. Do tell.

Stigg
07-03-2007, 12:58 AM
/sigh

Its not funny unless I can cuss...but I'll give you the gist of it...

Growing up, I had a few real good friends that lived close to me. We frequently played hide and seek as I live at the base of a mountain and on the edge of a cornfield and forest. Anyways...I was 14 or so...and I was playing at my friends house. His dad was a cop. I was "it" so i was the one running around trying to find people. Long story short, I found 2 of my friends (one of which was the cop's son) and after about half an hour we finally discovered that our final hiding player was in the cop car's trunk.

So my friend (cop's son) goes and grabs the key to the car and gets in and starts driving around the yard. The kid in the trunk starts screaming and crying (thinking we were the cop and going out on a chase). We finally threw on the siren. The kid's screams finally died off.

About that time the cop comes running out of the house, screaming his head off. Figuring we were in some deep ----, we stop the car and get out. But the dad, in full uniform tosses his son out of the car, gets in and takes off.

We started screaming after him, but he was long gone AND his siren was blazing.

The three of us were dumbstruck. Our friend was REALLY in the trunk during a cop chase. The cop was divorced, so we couldn't tell his mom....so we ended up calling 9-1-1.

Another long story short, the operator connected us to the police department and through our tears and bawling, they interpreted our story as the cop had kidnapped our friend.

About 45 minutes pass of us sitting around a table bawling our eyes out when the cop arrives back home. He runs into the house and backhands his son and tells us to "gtfo."

In the end, the cop had recieved a radio call that he was under suspicion of kidnapping, (which he was completly unaware of) and was called off the emergency call (I think it was a fire, iirc) and discovered our friend passed out in the trunk of his car.

My friend got grounded for...ever. None of us were allowed back to that guys house and he wasn't allowed to go to....anything during the entirity of High school.

And that experience only got a 5/10. The highest I have gotten was a 9/10

Methinks that will put a bit into perspective.

Idol
07-03-2007, 01:09 AM
If thats a 5, whats a 9? 0.o

Stigg
07-03-2007, 01:10 AM
If thats a 5, whats a 9? 0.o

Ban-able material. :lipsrsealed:

Ju Smurph
07-03-2007, 08:11 AM
Ban-able material. :lipsrsealed:

hence the old pm :wink:


/waits

xxlebox
07-03-2007, 09:57 AM
Hahaha nice stories, I do think your guildmates under-rate them a bit though! :p

shifttusk
12-03-2007, 10:43 PM
Yes. I got wtfpwn'ed by a 40 year old soccer mom in a minivan.



Damnit I was just gonna hit /reply and ask if she was attractive, and that if so this was an ideal pickup situation!!

Stigg
13-03-2007, 12:11 AM
Haha, nah she was a tad overweight.....and a good 20+ years older than I.

RhaegarTheTerrible
13-03-2007, 02:19 AM
I'm not quite sure what I was expecting. I mean, gun play of some sort, but what would she shoot? It's not like she'd lean out the window and blow your head off just for honking your horn.

Still, an amusing read. 6/10.

According to his profile, he's from Maryland.

The birthplace of Baltimore, and the deathplace of any living organism. I can imagine an uzi is a relatively common substance found on the streets of Maryland, no different from Florida's assault rifles or Montana's sticks and stones.

Stigg
13-03-2007, 02:28 AM
Haha, while true, Baltimore is a rather crime-stricken place....I love here:
http://www.angelfire.com/ultra/riledandrantingkimmy/stmarys-md.jpg

It's more likely to see a pitchfork than a gun. :)