If Trainers Spoke To You

[Kasal]

Quite possibly the funniest WoW thread I've ever seen:

http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=3773252290&sid=1

[Marlous]

Oh god, that thread has some gems. Hilarious.

"What about weapon trainers? This is how you hold an axe. Ten silver please."

Rofl! :laughing:

[Kasal]

My favourite:

Rogue Trainer: "Here's Sinister Strike Rank 2. It involves twisting the blade as you connect with your target's torso, causing greater injury than before."
Rogue: "What if I twist the blade... and use more force when stabbing?"
Rogue Trainer: "That's Rank 3, you can't do that yet."
Rogue: "Sure I can, see? Just gotta move my arm a little faster."
Rogue Trainer: "Stop that."
Rogue: "Hey, I bet I could get better results with my Backstab and Ambush using these same techniques."
Rogue Trainer: "No, you can't do that until I tell you about it."
Rogue: "Dude, is this all there is? Just... you know, stabbing people harder?"
Rogue Trainer: "It's far more complex than that. You have to be at the right level to have the appropriate Strength and Agility in order to attack with the required amount of force."
Rogue: "So... If I just always attack with the most force, won't I always be using the highest Rank of my attacks?"
Rogue Trainer: "You're going to have to leave before I contact a GM."


Or maybe this one:


Warrior Trainer: You know that awesome feeling you get when you kill someone?
Warrior: Well, yeah, I mean, it's an unfortunate necessity, but when it's a matter of him or...
Warrior Trainer: Shut up! It's awesome just killing people, and raptors, and plants, and bears, and cats, and orangutangs, and oranges, and..
Warrior: Get on with it already.
Warrior Trainer: Oh yeah, well, take that feeling of awesomeness cause you totally just made some kid an orphan, and go hit the next guy!
Warrior: I already do that.
Warrior trainer: That'll be 7g
*you have learned Victory Rush*
Warrior: ....

[Shellar]

My personal favorite:
Flight Trainer: You have come to learn how to ride the fast winged beast.
Player: Yes. Judging by how much you're charging, it must be really complex.
FT: Oh it is, trust me! Are you ready?
P: <breathes deeply> I am ready.
FT: See that knob on the front of the saddle?
P: Yes...
FT: Hold on to it really tightly, because these guys go really fast and you don't wanna fall off.
P: ...Don't tell me.
FT: That'll be 5000g.
P: /cry

[rottentomato]

OMG WIN!!

Trainer: Observe quick and elusive monkey. Move with his grace and agility to confound your foes' strikes.
Hunter: Cool.
Trainer: Let the hawk's deadly eye become your own, increasing the effectiveness of your attacks.
Hunter: Sick!
Trainer: Incorporate the cheetah's energy and ferocity into your stride, allowing you to move at great speeds.
Hunter: Heck yeah!
Trainer: You know how snakes regenerate mana?
Hunter: Aweso - - What..?
Trainer: Yeah. Do that.

[spadron]

Dunno if there's a similar one in the thread but

Shaman Trainer: So how's it going with one-handed maces?
Shaman: Pretty cool. I'd quite like to hold a weapon in my other hand too, I've no idea where to start though.
Shaman Trainer: Have you learned how to increase your mana pool by 1% yet?
Shaman: er...no....
Shaman Trainer: Did we go over how to increase the amount of damage blocked with a shield?
Shaman: I don't think so....I've been contentrating more on my lightning bolts....
Shaman Trainer: I'm sorry, I can't help you.

[Aerath]

Gotta say the Paladin trainer with Divine Intervention got me laughing - as did the Priest with that angel thingy.

[rottentomato]

divine intervention was one of my favorites...

lots of classic gems there....

Shaman Trainer: ... and that's how you purge enemy buffs off them, pretty cool huh?
Hunter: Very, I'll have to use that on my Arcane shot
Shaman Trainer: Wait no, you can't do that I was just kidding, okay?
Hunter: Do you know where the warrior trainer is? My aimed shot is lacking "oomph"