Jenzon's List

[Your Average WoW Player]

Recently, on my guild's forums, I've started a list called Jenzon's list.
It's based off of Skippy's List, and is a list of things I can't do in my raid/guild.

1. May not run up to melee range and slam down Thunderstorm in the middle of the fray, even if AoE is called for.

2. May not speak on Vent.

3. May not assume Thor (my guild leader) lives in a padded cell completely devoid of sanity from being the Guild Leader of a World of Warcraft Raiding Guild.

4. May not imply rule #3.

5. May not assume guild healers are slaves to serve my every fricken whim.

6. May not assume guild officers are slaves to serve my every fricken whim.

7. May not assume guild mates are slaves to serve my every fricken whim.

8. May not have Seraphus's (The ranged DPS leader) position.

9. May not have Thor's position.

10. May not tank.

11. May not off-tank.

12. Tijuana is not the next level of raids where the next Tier of armor can be found.

13. May not assume another guild is better just because they have better purples.

14. Can not tell guild newbies that any officer is an inhuman monster who feasts on the souls and flesh of babies, puppies and kitties.

15. Calodil (a Hunter who hails from the Netherlands) does NOT live in Europe.

16. May not use Crashin' Thrasin' Racer during raids. Ever. Not even during AFK breaks, loot distribution, or chilling out just inside the instance waiting for everything to get rolling.

17. May not use Toy Train Set during AFK breaks.

18. May not use Toy Train Set during boss fight descriptions.

19. May not use Toy Train Set during raids period.

20. The Crashin' Thrasin' Racer is NOT to be used for pulling bosses.

21. May not type during raids.

22. May not assume the female bosses are where they are because of bad sex from the guild officers.

23. The first kill goes to trash. Not Lady Blowme, Gothik the Harvester, Instructor Razuvious or Jenzon.

24. It is Lady Blaumeux, not Lady Blowme.

25. Thor is NOT Captain Tightpants.

26. May not throw the guild leader into the airlock.

27. May not throw the guild officers into the airlock.

28. May not throw my fellow guildies into the airlock.

29. "Eta Kooram Nah Smech!" will NOT make the DPS that is beating me in recount fall asleep so I can be the only one doing damage and get on the top of the DPS charts.

30. I am NOT John Rambo.

31. Not everything is shiny.

[det]

Well, while some of the above things are weird, whacky or funny (some only to the initiated), I always laothed guilds where you may not speak on vent.

Luckily, mine is mature enough so ppl (mostly) know when to shut up...

:cool:

[Mazhulsage]

32. Don't even think that officers in a raiding guild aren't going to do double standards. They have some power, they will abuse it, and you will be booted. (Some guy I'll just say is named Kane on my server, that's you.)

[Your Average WoW Player]

Well, while some of the above things are weird, whacky or funny (some only to the initiated), I always laothed guilds where you may not speak on vent.

Luckily, mine is mature enough so ppl (mostly) know when to shut up...

:cool:

Actually this is somewhat of an inside joke. I have a bad habit of speaking up on vent. So the "may not speak on vent" is more of a joke then actually serious.

[Gorny]

33. May not make or type funny Murlog noises during Raid or Boss encounter.

34. Must not wipe the raid due to needing another beer.

35. Must not decide to go off and smoke a cigarette 30 seconds before any boss encounter.

[Kodonn]

Recently, on my guild's forums, I've started a list called Jenzon's list.
It's based off of Skippy's List, and is a list of things I can't do in my raid/guild.

...
36. May not aspire to become the guild role-model.

:thumbsup:
It's good though that you are keeping a list. Some of those things might be difficult to remember. :laughing:

[det]

33. May not make or type funny Murlog noises during Raid or Boss encounter.


..or impersonate Yoda

(2 years of first-hand experience with a "funny" guy...sigh)

[Shellar]

If I had to make such a list for myself, it would look like this:

1. I am not allowed to tell new raid members that they can see the dormant form of Ragnaros in the window behind Golemagg.
2. Avenger's Shield is not a proper substitute for /readycheck.
3. Neither is Psychic Scream.
4. "All REAL doctors are supposed to know it" is not a valid reason to make raid healing assignments in classic Latin.
5. I am not allowed to requisition all offspec loot in the name of the Immortal Emperor of Mankind.
6. I am not allowed to confiscate all offspec loot for the Revolution and the betterment of proletariat.
7. I *am* allowed to respec to Holy without reciting the Hippocratic Oath in guildchat every time I do it.
8. The Reliquary of Souls is not my personal sex toy.
9. The Reliquary of Souls is not a long-lost relative of the Companion Cube.
10. I am not allowed to add "...in bed" to each and every boss yell.
11. No matter what Cranius says, I am not allowed to show up to the raid dressed in full Twill set.
12. The raid leader is allowed to ignore my requests to stop all DPS so that I can properly tell the boss its Miranda rights.
13. /rw is for raid warnings, not for quoting the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe.
14. I am not allowed to use Doomfire to level up my Cooking.
15. I am not allowed to challenge Illidan to a staring contest.
16. I am not allowed to moan suggestively at raid bosses.
17. Or raid members, for that matter.
18. Whether we're doing Onyxia or Malygos, I am expressly not allowed to use "/e takes a deep breath..." during the encounter.
19. I am not allowed to kite anything to Vael's room.
20. I am not allowed to bribe Wretched mobs in MGT and Sunwell with Mana Gems.

(to be continued)

[suffering]

cool list http://j08p1218tpbl198.imageshacknow.info/img/2548/y09m0109soby/narconiaB2.jpg