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:lol: My wife found this thread, it is worth a few chuckles!!!
I also put the link in if anyone wants to see the original.
[URL=http://bbs.babycenter.com/board/baby/postpartumsex/10518/thread/1875470]
"Cheating on me with a video game!!!"
Author: Novemberbaby79 Feb 24, 2005, 3:37 PM (PST)
Seriously, my dh is ALWAYS on the damned computer game. He comes home from work, pats the kids on the head, eats dinner, watches MAYBE 30 minutes of TV with me and then it's to the computer he goes. He hs not come to bed with me since I don't know when. I have begged, pleaded, told him how I shouldn't be lonely if I am married. Nothing works, he does not care how I feel. I have tried seduction and that does get me sex but in his office and then it's back to the game. I am so lonely and I am starting to want nothing more than to leave. I deserve BETTER. I am a SAHM and my dh is in the military. He is about to deploy again for a year (he missed our dd's birth) and he could play his game over there for a solid year, I don't think it's too much to ask that he atleast come to bed with me for the time that we do have. I guess I don't have any questions but need to vent. He thinks he is the greastest thing since sliced bread and that I should be happy because we have a nice home and he's a good provider but money is NOT the issue. My ex bf was a millionaire and I walked away from his money. I don't and never have wanted material things, I just don't want to be married and feel this lonely.
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Author: justcrazy Feb 25, 2005, 6:19 AM (PST)
What kind of online game does he play? Mine used to play Dark Ages of Camelot and it was annoying. He would get cranky once the game had him "hooked" and it is indeed where he met at least one of his girlfriends.
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Author: lorion3 Feb 25, 2005, 7:26 AM (PST)
Seriously, what is it with men and there games. Whether it be a video game or a sports game. It's all about priorities and putting your family first, especially your spouse. They say we just don't understand. Sad to say, it is them that do not understand. They do not understand that their priorities are really screwed up.
My husband is "cheating on me" with basketball. I know exactly how you feel.
I'll keep you in my prayers. Good luck.
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Author: Novemberbaby79 Feb 25, 2005, 7:53 AM (PST)
It's a game called World of Warcraft. You know he's 33, not 23, not 13 but 33! There is no excuse for this behavior. I am just tired, ya know. He thinks that since we have material things, I should be happy. I am leaving with the kids for a long weekend at my grandmas ranch. I need some fresh air and my grandma is my best friend so I am going to talk it over with her. I just e-mailed my dh and told him that we need marriage counseling because I just can't keep doing this. I beg, plead, cry, seduce, playfully tease him and nothing, nothing, nothing. I am a single parent, lonely wife enough with all of the demands of the military. I DESERVE a husband who wants me. Thanks for responding guys, I appreciate it.
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Author: justcrazy Feb 25, 2005, 11:49 AM (PST)
I totally relate! I mean TOTALLY! It's frustrating. My husband set up a website for his "game" and he had a guild. He formed a team online. I was going to school and had to take our newborn (two weeks at the time) with me because my husband did not want his game interfered with.
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Author: Kattnipp Feb 26, 2005, 8:16 AM (PST)
Here is a small suggestion. My husband used to play on the computer so much that I forgot he was there. So I decided if he wanted to act like he had no wife I would treat him like he had no wife. No I didn't go out and cheat on him. I stopped cooking and doing laundry for him. Sorry I am not a maid service. I didn't clean the computer room either. If he dropped his clothes somewhere rest asurred the clothes would still be there when he went to look for them. After a few weeks of this he got the hint and sat me down to see if there was something we could do about the situation. I said yup there is. So now we have dinner at the table Sunday to Thrusday. Friday and Saturday if he wants to play on the computer during meal times I don't agrue. I get 6 hours of my time a week doing what ever it I want. He can't complain. And he helps with the house work before logging in. It wasn't long till he realized how much time he has spent on the computer and now he generally waits until I am heading off to bed or watching something he isnt' interested in before playing his game. Good luck ladies and I know how hard it can be.
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Author: CATs mommy Apr 15, 2005, 7:46 PM (PDT)
Wow, can I ever relate to this one!! My husband is really more into video games than computer. He uses our spare bedroom where he has his TV, surround sound, and Playstation all set up. He retreats there every night and we maybe go to bed together once a week or less, when he decides he wants to have sex. He's always begging me just like a child for new games and pouts when I say we can't afford it. Every time I do something for me or my son (which is like never, and when I say something I mean a haircut or new shoes) he says, hey since you're getting that can I get this ______ (fill in the blank with toy, video game, DVD, take your pick, he's addicted to them all!!). It makes me crazy!!
Personally, my girlfriend doesn't care. Granted I'll take going out with her over a game of WoW, but there have been many a conversation ended because of a need to play warcraft with the guys. She just sees it as some necessary male bonding time.
Video game addiction is quite a serious issue, and shouldnt really be mocked.
I mean...someone of your age and postition Shinnok, its fine...play all you want.
But I personally know of two marriages of people about my age (25) that have already ended because of video game addiction.
I am personally married, and its something I struggle with as well. I dont think I spend as much time as the husbands's of the women who wrote those posts.....but sometimes I think I spend too much considering I am married.
Its something I constantly struggle with, its hard to find a balance.
And please...noone like DC come in here and say: "Just get your GF/Fiance/Wife to play with you...." That rarely works, and is only a solution like 2% of the times, most cases its just a bandaid on the problem....trust me.
Anyways....considering how addicting WoW is...I think I am balancing it out pretty well. Needless to say, I can rarely do any grouping activites that require a ton of time, because most often my gaming experience consists of maybe being online for an hour or two, then hopping off, spending some time, etc, then maybe hopping back on later. Oh well. :lol:
Sometimes though the gals can go a bit overboard with their hysterical rants and complaints about their husbands. Ever since Ive been around MMO games, Ive read forums from ladies like this. The worst way to go about it (ladies if anyones reading this) is to get mad at them and make them stop...they will be miserable and it will affect both of you negatively. The best solution ALWAYS seems to be work out a balanced schedule. Give the game player time where they can freely play without feeling guilty, but accordingly, make them schedule time to spend with their significant other or family. Balance and schedule is the key (along with not making the person feel guilty when they do play).
Video game addiction is quite a serious issue, and shouldnt really be mocked.
I mean...someone of your age and postition Shinnok, its fine...play all you want.
But I personally know of two marriages of people about my age (25) that have already ended because of video game addiction.
I am personally married, and its something I struggle with as well. I dont think I spend as much time as the husbands's of the women who wrote those posts.....but sometimes I think I spend too much considering I am married.
Its something I constantly struggle with, its hard to find a balance.
And please...noone like DC come in here and say: "Just get your GF/Fiance/Wife to play with you...." That rarely works, and is only a solution like 2% of the times, most cases its just a bandaid on the problem....trust me.
Anyways....considering how addicting WoW is...I think I am balancing it out pretty well. Needless to say, I can rarely do any grouping activites that require a ton of time, because most often my gaming experience consists of maybe being online for an hour or two, then hopping off, spending some time, etc, then maybe hopping back on later. Oh well. :lol:
Sometimes though the gals can go a bit overboard with their hysterical rants and complaints about their husbands. Ever since Ive been around MMO games, Ive read forums from ladies like this. The worst way to go about it (ladies if anyones reading this) is to get mad at them and make them stop...they will be miserable and it will affect both of you negatively. The best solution ALWAYS seems to be work out a balanced schedule. Give the game player time where they can freely play without feeling guilty, but accordingly, make them schedule time to spend with their significant other or family. Balance and schedule is the key (along with not making the person feel guilty when they do play).
Yall:
A few comments on this one but first some perspective. I'm 40+, have been married for 15 years and have 2 children. I have what I consider to be a pretty solid and loving relationship with my wife and we've done pretty well raising two great children...as a team. I've also been a consistent gamer for all of those 15 years. I love to game...always have...and would spend...if single...spend almost every non-work hour I have online or in game.
I've found that the most important element to my to-date successful marriage (excluding separate sinks in the bathroom...we won't live anywhere without two sinks in the master)...is priorities/sensitivity/balance...hard for me to separate these three as in real life they all seem to commingle. First up would be priorities. I have a very demanding job...generally go from 7 AM to 7 PM. Most of what's left has to go to the family...children first...until they're tucked in...that means dinner together...homework assistance...stories...etc. At our house, this is all finished around 9PM. On weekends, it has to be almost all about the family...that would be sports, scouts, movies, outings (zoo, picnic, museums, etc.). Anything left goes to games.
So what's left for me...basically...enough. On weekdays...after the children are in bed...I get to play for 1 - 2 hours...and my wife is fine with that...because she knows it's my hobby...and because I basically earn the time by fulfilling the husband/father part of my role. The key here...in my very humble opinion...don't get in the habit of letting her go to bed alone. It's OK to do that every once in awhile...she knows about partying for an instance...but doing it every night will come back and bite you in the *ss. Just as the children need theirs...your wife needs hers as well...your undiluted focus on her for at least some part of the day.
On weekends, I get up early...make coffee...and play for an hour before anyone else wakes up. Once the house starts to stir...the computer either goes off or gets passed to one of the children...my son plays and my daughter chats. I'll also play on Friday and Saturday nights after everyone has fallen off but not before my wife and I have had our time together.
Finally, don't forget dates. For the last 6 years, my wife and I have made it a habit to go out...alone...at least once a week...sometimes a movie but usually dinner (can't talk during movies). We've found that it makes a huge difference if dating continues beyond the wedding...seems silly but you can't imagine how many married couples seem to forget this. Busy days means you fall out of touch during the week...you need a night out to catch up (technical term...debrief) and reconnect.
And occasionally...like this last weekend...your wife and children are out of town...which means that you can play 18 hours a day...and come to work on Monday morning with red, tired eyes :clap:
Anyway...my two cents. I love to game but once you're married...or seriously dating...it has to be put in it's proper place. If your job, wife, girlfriend and/or children are not your primary outlet and the recipient(s) of the majority of your time/attention, you are in trouble and should get some help.
Best Regards,
Silverhand
PS: To Toader, DC and the rest of the guys...was good to meet you guys in game this weekend and thanks for all the help. I won't have many weekends like this but will be around. Let me know if I can ever be any help.
Its the fact that its a computergame. I think thats what annoys them. If they were addicted to a sportschannel, they wouldnt be happy but a lot less annoyed then they are now. They probably see games the thing 10-20 year olds play with their friends.
Its the fact that its a computergame. I think thats what annoys them. If they were addicted to a sportschannel, they wouldnt be happy but a lot less annoyed then they are now. They probably see games the thing 10-20 year olds play with their friends.
Can:
I can promise you that it's not about computer games...it's about time...and where you put it...6 hours of sports channel a day would be just as big a problem as 6 hours of gaming. Just read the post in the original string about the husband "cheating on her with basketball".
Best Regards,
Silverhand
Last edited by Silverhand; 18-04-2005 at 07:56 AM..
ok....probably we dont have many females in the guild? So I thought that a few would like to see a female opinion on this.
If gaming is your passion, get a gf/fiancee/wife that will understand that,...or even better, get one that plays! We are out there, waiting to be found...and no, many of us are fairly good looking women with a good sense of humor and a temible intuition for when to cast the next DoT/AoE spell. True, nobody likes being ignored, but these women from the article MUST HAVE KNOWN THIS FROM BEFORE!...Give me a break....are they going to tell me that they had just discovered their hubby's addiction to games??...bah, whiners. That is why the time spent as bf/gf is so important for the future of the relationship, so you can get to know each other.
In my case I have a happy relationship....it took TWO computers and TWO warcraft accounts, but now we can be happy.(Timesharing was not working as well as we originally thought). And yes, since we are both gamers we do count the time we play online together as "together" time.
So, my final opinion is.....I rather have someone cheat on me with a video game than with an actual woman....lol...at least I know where to find him!hehe.
ok....probably we dont have many females in the guild? So I thought that a few would like to see a female opinion on this.
If gaming is your passion, get a gf/fiancee/wife that will understand that,...or even better, get one that plays! We are out there, waiting to be found...and no, many of us are fairly good looking women with a good sense of humor and a temible intuition for when to cast the next DoT/AoE spell. True, nobody likes being ignored, but these women from the article MUST HAVE KNOWN THIS FROM BEFORE!...Give me a break....are they going to tell me that they had just discovered their hubby's addiction to games??...bah, whiners. That is why the time spent as bf/gf is so important for the future of the relationship, so you can get to know each other.
In my case I have a happy relationship....it took TWO computers and TWO warcraft accounts, but now we can be happy.(Timesharing was not working as well as we originally thought). And yes, since we are both gamers we do count the time we play online together as "together" time.
So, my final opinion is.....I rather have someone cheat on me with a video game than with an actual woman....lol...at least I know where to find him!hehe.
Lexan:
Enjoyed your post...had one thought I wanted to share...may not be true for all but was true for me. I take it from your post that you're not married...please correct me if I'm mistaken.
My wife and I dated for almost 3 years before we tied the knot. During that time, we worked together as well as played together. Looking back, it constantly AMAZES me...even within the context of an honest and engaged dating relationship...what you don't learn about your partner. I'm not talking about big things...I'm tallking about the little things...both practical and emotional...that you only get a feel for once you've been balancing the checkbook with...changing diapers with...waking up next to a person for awhile. Might be worth your while to keep that in mind ;)
Best Regards,
Silverhand
Last edited by Silverhand; 18-04-2005 at 08:40 AM..
Well to say most I had (Keyword: Had) this problem when I played DAoC and just being on computers. I enjoy computers really I do I' am actually in college right now studying to become a web desgner and computer hardware/software major. When I was 16 I used to stay awake for 48 hours and then skip GED classes in the process and sleep for 4 hours then hop back on the computer. Because of this my gf left my home with our child and moved in with her sister and felt horrible about leaving there. So she got her own place which is where I' am now. To make a long story short I didn't get payed at all this month. So i'm at her place right now skipping college so that my family can have a home to live in. She got to graduate High School and I didn't. :( But I get to go to college for free and get a diploma for free also it's a Government program. Back after she left and I started isolating just playing an MMORPG (DAoC) I had developed Schizo-Affective/Paranoid Schizophrenia With Manic depression and an advanced psychotic disorder/Panic attacks while I was addicted to marijuana also. I quit Marijuana 3 months ago and now I'm living off the government till I can get a business for myself running or find a good employer that will hire me with the disorder. =/
But we decided that if she gets a computer she wants to play with me. Also if our child wishes to play with one of us we can sacrifice what we have on the game and tend to her. The game can be around for when your not tending to others like family and spouses. My child loves Computers and shes only 2 years old and she plays on my laptop. Now my gf she started playing EQOAF(Everquest Online Adventures: Frontiers) when I owned it. She got into it and wants to play the game I play so our Aunts paying her a computer for graduation, so now we both can play in the same party then if our kid needs to be taken care of we tell the party members we need to stop a minute and we'll be back and if they are friendly like people have been on games I play they will let us go then they'll let us back in.
So please if you read this and your addicted to a game (Real Life: Sports, Virtual: Video Games) please pay attention to them and love them like a human being should and make time for yourself, just like the others stated everyone needs balance in their life so make balance.
Also you have only one life to live so live it wisely.
Peace :D ,
Jessey Morgan a.k.a. Xexis Christ
Last edited by XexisChrist; 18-04-2005 at 09:40 AM..
MUST READ!! Wives upset about videogames.
Wow...
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