I would like to have some feedback/criticism about the back story I have for my warlock. Tips and complaints would be greatly appreciated.
Race: Human Female
Class: Warlock
Profile: Looks around the age of 19 but evidence shows that she is over 100 years old. Black hair, shoulder length, with a green gem embedded into her chest.
Name: Herah Tosk
Bio: Herah was abandoned as a baby, and discovered by a man in his mid forties. He and his wife could not have children, so to him this was a blessing given to him by the gods. He noticed a small green-gemmed necklace around her neck. It was very large on such an infant, so he pocketed it. With a strong faith in the holy light, the man and his wife raised Herah as a disciple of the light. She studied hard, and she was the most promising student in her class. When Herah was 18, she became a fully fledged priestess. The day before Herah's 19th birthday, her father came to her and gave her the necklace On her 19th birthday, an incident would occur that would change her life forever. While celebrating her birthday with her adoptive parents, corrupted orcs who studied the powers of the demons raided her small village, leaving no one to survive. Using all of her power, she cast a protective spell over her home, causing her to faint. When she awoke, she felt herself being dragged away. When the dragging stopped, the bag opened. Orcs had taken her prisoner. Not only that, they brought her to the outlands for study. They discovered that not only did she have potential, but she had with her the demonic necklace. They looked at her in awe. It was getting late, and they left Herah tied to a post in the temple. Another prisoner crawled towards her. "You wield the necklace, with it you can save your family. Let me help you unlock its power, and you will be powerful enough to leave this place and go to your village." Herah thought hard, and she did not know what would happen to her. It could transform her into something evil. But it was something she had to do. "I just want to get out of here," she said. "If you do this, there is no turning back." he replied. "I am ready." She reluctantly gave herself up to the necklace's power. She felt evil, anger, and hatred course through her veins. She knew what she had become, and she felt the pain in her chest. The gem had been embedded into her skin. She tried pulling on it, and as she did, she felt her soul move with the gem, so she let it be. She escaped from the demonologists' lair, through demonic magics. She drained all of the orcs' souls but five, which she sacrificed at the altar to become her minions. One would become a fire-casting imp, another a hardy voidwalker, the female into a succubus, another into a spell-breaking felhunter, and finally, a bloodthirsty felguard. With the souls encased in enchanted glass, she opened a dark portal before her, and stepped through. On the other side was her village. Her parents had been killed. The prisoner had lied, and he was there to meet her. He attempted to cut the gem from her, now empowered by the souls she stole. Full of rage, she unleashed a grand shadowy blast. When the shadows subsided, the betrayer was gone. He had escaped. She vowed to avenge her parents by destroying all orcs, and finding the betrayer.
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